A MILLION miles from where I began

December, 2008

I just celebrated my first Christmas as a married woman. The Southern Gentleman was like a rambunctious little boy on Christmas Day. Woke up early with a gi-normous smile on his face and an even brighter twinkle in those blue eyes. He'd been anxiously anticipating Christmas since Halloween. By Thanksgiving, his enthusiasm for Christmas was even rubbing off on me, a little. And believe me, I am the ORIGINAL Christmas Grinch - ask anyone that knows me.

The Gent was on a one-man mission to convert me from the cynical dis-interested Christmas scrooge that I'd been for as long as I could remember - into a smiling, pleasant, angelic Christmas Spirit.

God Bless him!

Christmas night, I was nestled into the 'nook' of my husband, his arm around me and my head on his shoulder. From our love seat vantage point - we could see the cousins, aunts, uncles and nephews around the room. The Christmas tree glowed from the corner while the candles bathed the room in a soft warmth.

The Gents' family was sharing stories and re-living family histrionics from years-gone-by. Even though I'd only known these people for a little over a year.....I had heard some of these epic-stories before. But, it didn't matter...the laughter and the love was evident. For the first time since my own childhood - I found myself enjoying Christmas!

Wow, I was a MILLION miles away from where my journey began.

There have been so many moments throughout my seven month marriage - that I have to pause and reflect. I reflect upon what my life was like just a few years ago. I reflect about my previous profession and the folks I considered friends. I reflect about the men I had dated and realize what a complete waste of time those un-holy unions were.

When the SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN holds my hand or gives me a wink of his eye from across the room - my heart melts to a puddle of love. I realize that all those so-called 'relationships' were just a figment of my imagination. Not a single one of those men I called boyfriend could even catch my attention now. They could be naked and on fire - and I wouldn't even cast a gaze in their direction.

The SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN has changed my entire outlook on what is attractive and meaningful in a relationship. I'm a MILLION miles away from where my journey began.

The people I call 'FRIEND' is a much smaller number than it was back in my 20s and early 30s. Gosh, back in those days - friends were synonymous with DRINKING buddies. Friends became anyone who was available and enjoyed the same bars and clubs I did. Not that I drank a lot - but, I did like to go out and have a good time....often.

Now? Well, I can count my closest and dearest friends on ONE HAND. Unfortunately for me, they span the countryside. From Virginia to Texas and into New York, not a single dear friend lives in the City I inhabit. This doesn't count the SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN. Clearly, he is my best friend, my favorite person....But, a woman needs a strong circle of Gal-Pals....like-minded-ladies....Chicks, who 'GET IT'.

And, now that I've crossed over into the decade of the NEW THIRTY....I just find it nearly impossible to expand the circle of tolerable females, Ladies - who accept me as I am, flaws and all. Who don't judge - who support at all costs - yet, tell me when I've lost my mind - and are willing to help me find it. Those are the types of gals that grow increasingly difficult to find - the older we get. Which makes me appreciate the sisters that have seen me through it all. I met my Texas gal-pal when I was 18. Good Lord - I don't even resemble the person I was when we met...neither does she.

And, that's okay. We've BOTH come a MILLION MILES from where that journey began.

Professionally? Yikes - I don't even recognize myself in that category anymore. This area, has been the most difficult to come to terms with. The afore-mentioned gal-pals can attest - I still have a long way to travel..to be okay with my current professional position in life.

As a Broadcast Journalist - I was in the center of it all. I had front row seats and was witness to some of the greatest moments in SPORTS HISTORY. I was court side back in the 90s when the Chicago Bulls (you know the REAL Bulls- Jordan, Pippen, Rodman - the one-name wonders!) won their 70th consecutive victory against the Milwaukee Bucks at the Bradley Center. That was the first time I interviewed Michael Jordan. It was sports nirvana.

I was at the Jets home opener when Vinnie Testeverde went down with a season-ending injury and Keyshawn Johnson cried at the podium in the post game press conference.

I BROKE the story on New York radio - when the Jets coach, Bill Parcells (aka - the Big Tuna) announced Bill Belichick as his replacement - only to have Belichick take the podium and say, "Thanks, but no Thanks - I'm going to New England." That was a sports moment - that still gives me chills. I remember rushing to the ladies bathroom and calling the radio station and demanding the producer put me on the air immediately. From the acoustically challenged bathroom at the Jets training facility...I broke the biggest story of the moment. Memories...........................

I was invited to parties and had NFL and NBA head coaches on speed dial. I ate sushi several times a week and people recognized my voice when I spoke.

Now? I'm as far away from the bright lights of Broadway as one person could possibly get. I punch a clock and am responsible for the 'Life Enrichment' of 33 men and women who suffer from Alzheimer's disease. The corporate mandate is that NO ONE can work over 40 hours per week, they aren't matching our 401K this year -thanks to the economy... and they've even taken away a vacation day from everyone.

I've gone from the court side at Madison Square Garden to the Bedside of a dying resident. I don't interview professional athletes anymore...I comfort people who don't even remember my name. I make over 25 thousand dollars less than I did from my last job.

However, I've never been as enriched and as fulfilled as I am in this current role. Sure, the micro-managing of Health Care is a challenge for a creative free spirit, like myself. Yet, I am forging new paths and bringing my residents along for the ride. I've developed programs and initiatives at every company that has employed me. My broadcast background actually was a superior training ground for 'reaching -across -the -isle' and forging partnerships that old-school health care folks never even thought of.

Instead of breaking the story or getting the quote - the new professional buzz is to develop creative programming for my residents with Memory impairment. We don't play Bingo every day in my building. We go to the Theater and out to lunch. We don't sit and watch the world go by - we invite area dance and music professionals in - to entertain us. And, yes - I mean professional. I got a local Ballet group to bring a scaled-down ensemble in to perform the NUTCRACKER -in full costume. It was a great programming moment.

My residents don't always remember my name, but hell - neither did Michael Jordan or Patrick Ewing. The work I do now is incredibly rewarding. Incredibly LOW PAYING....but, none-the-less.....rewarding. And, as I continue to wrap my mind around the low wages and the nearly non-existent recognition for good work.............

this leg of my journey is already propelling me a MILLION MILES AWAY from where I began...and that's okay.

This is Why....

November, 2008

Six months of marriage is now behind us. Each day I live and love with the Southern Gentleman brings a new revelation.

Having covered the New York Jets football team as a beat reporter for three seasons, I felt well prepared as to the inner-sanctum of MEN. I had heard the off-color conversations, I had smelled the odors after a game, I had seen the nude-pin-ups in many of their lockers......I was a chick with inside-the-locker-room experience.

Surely daily life with the Southern Gentleman wouldn't bring any new surprises.....would it? I'd seen it all, I'd heard it all.....right?

Ah, the naivety of a blushing bride....

The Gent can be a sassy little boy one minute followed by long bouts of Fraternity- Chapter- President. Prior to my arrival, there was a bear rug on the man-cave floor. And, I mean BEAR rug - full head with teeth and outstretched paws with nails. UGH! Empty Corona beer cases lined an entire wall of the second bedroom. His version of Andy Warhol modern art....I guess.

The black leather furniture and the black painted pressed-board TV cabinet the size of Delaware, were the first things to be loaded onto the Salvation Army truck. Followed by the life size black panther figure-statue...thing. The bear rug? Well, that got packed into a box and given back to the cousin who had handed it off to the Southern Gent in the first place. The cousin's wife had 'vetoed' the bear years ago - Aha! - Enter the tornado from the North (that's me) and now, the bear is their problem again! Victory!

From what I understand, I'm luckier than most ladies. My mate can cook and is actually a stellar house-keeper (for a guy). He'll wipe up the counter top. At times I have to look away, as he wipes the counter dry with his UNDERSHIRT - but, his attempt at housekeeping is what I try and focus on.

He unloads the dishwasher. (the chore I DETEST the most). He does laundry and has gotten better at folding my underpants rather than dancing around with them on his head. The bras, still land on his head as he wraps the straps under his chin and stands with his hands on hips and his chest bloated out. He resembles an odd-version of a Benny Hill meets Tim Conway -type character.

The Gent has no sisters and this becomes painfully clear as he discovers all the female nuances that I bring to the relationship. The plucking, poking and picking that I perform as part of my pre-bedtime routine....remains a mystery to him. The hand lotion and lip gloss next to the bedside still garners comments when applied - he cannot comprehend why I need those accoutrement's at bedtime. God Forbid if he sees me in my weekly Mud-mask...his fits of giggles can be heard throughout the house.

Our conversations and back and forth banter - is the highpoint of our relationship though. His southern accent combined with his innate tendency to mis-pronounce words and phrases is legendary. We've argued exhaustively over the phrase, "Cup of Twa" vs. "Cup of Tea". He is convinced that "Cup of Twa" is the proper version because it's a combination of 'tea' and 'repertoire'. - "Sweetie, that makes even LESS sense," I insist.

Six months in, however, now I just roll my eyes and accept his version as I silently pray he never uses the term outside the four walls of our private home.

In addition to his mis-pronunciations are the even wittier made-up words he uses to describe the various ways I wear my hair. For example, when I wear a single pony tail in the back of my head - he calls it a PONIN (poe-nin) not to be confused with a NUBBIN, which was the pony tail before my hair grew out several inches. A bun on the top of my head is a GRANIN (gran-in) and God Forbid if I wear two ponytails - because then I have to hear him call out in a sing-song voice about my DULINS (dew-lins).

Our day to day life is a constant exploration of male/ female combined with North vs. South tendencies. I've said it before - we are like the North/South version of Lucille Ball and Ricky Ricardo. Who needs reality TV - I'm living it myself, for sure.

Prior to Halloween this year, I had commented several times about my desire to pick a pumpkin. "Let's go to a pumpkin patch," I proclaimed. "Ugh," he grunted "just get one at the Super-Store"

"No way!" I fired back. It just seemed WRONG to buy a pumpkin from a bin at Wally World. "I want to PICK a pumpkin!"

One night, only days before Halloween, we pulled into the parking lot of the local Super-Store. There, under a gi-normous spotlight was an equally gi-normous cardboard bin - loaded full of pumpkins with a smiley-faced embossed sign promoting PUMPKINS FOR SALE - $3.99.

We both saw the display (it was impossible not to). The Gent parked the car and as I was getting out - I heard him proclaim - "There you go baby, just PICK YOUR NOSE and buy a pumpkin here and call it a day."

Over the roof of the car our eyes locked and I asked, "What did you just say?"

"I said," he proudly repeated "just PICK your NOSE, buy a pumpkin here and call it a day - problem solved." His grin combined with a twinkle in his eye was followed by a bout of laughter that became contagious.

He reached for my hand and we walked towards the Wally World entrance - we chuckled together through several isles before I spoke, "This is why I married you."

My DMV Family

October, 2008



One of the bonus points of being married - is the ability to join your finances. Well, I suppose it wouldn't be a bonus if the person you married was a near-bankrupt spend-thrift....but, fortunately for me, I married a man that had a similar view of the FINANCIAL world...earn it, save some and spend a little.

And, during these troubled times - it's nice to have a partner in finance who is truly on the same team as you.

By August, I had paid off my Honda Civic. Yipppee, another monthly payment that was being distinguished. The thrill of the Pay-Off was short lived, however - when the Honda Finance Agent on the other end of the phone told me that he'd mail me the Title - and he added, "Then, you'll take that to the DMV and have the title transferred to your name."

My heart skipped a beat, "What?" I nearly yelped. "I have to go to the DMV? Really? Is there ANY OTHER WAY?"

The Honda Guy sighed, "I'm afraid not. But, hey - Congratulations on paying off your vehicle, it's been our pleasure doing business with you."

"Yea, Yea, whatever....." I mumbled. I broke out in a sweat as we hung up the phone.

The DMV and the Social Security offices had been FAR TOO familiar to me in the last several months.

ANOTHER by-product of my HOLY UNION to the Southern Gentleman was that I had to have all of my legal documents changed over to my new married name. As independent as I proclaim to be - I had decided to take the name of my husband. After each prolonged trip to the government agencies to get my social security card changed THEN my drivers license - I would enter the front door of our Townhouse and proclaim;

"We are NEVER getting divorced because I NEVER want to go through this crap again. You are STUCK with me"

Each time the Southern Gent would smile and say, "I know baby, I know....."

It took me a couple of weeks to get both the courage and the energy to make yet another pilgrimage to the local DMV location. In fact, I took the whole day off from work. I didn't want the additional stress of having to coordinate this trip with my work schedule too.

I purposefully arrived at the store-front location at approximately 11:20am. I figured the morning rush would already have dissipated and the lunch crowd wouldn't have arrived yet. Logical, right?

I parked my newly paid off car and crossed the parking lot to the front entrance. I thought it was a good sign that the line wasn't out the door and spilling onto the sidewalk. I'd heard those horror stories from folks who'd made this trip before me.

I entered and my nostrils sucked in the damp, dank and musty fragrance that results from too many people in too small of a space for too long of a time. UGH. I prepared for the worst.

I glanced up at the dingy wooden signs hanging by chain links from the ceiling. The signs gave instructions as to which line you were supposed to stand in, depending on which service you needed. I was thrilled to see that my designated line was nearly 10 people shorter than the other. Okay, another good omen.

I took my place at the end of the line. As sipped from my water bottle, I visually grazed the crowd surrounding me. This DMV line was a diverse mix of people that could rival a UNITED NATIONS monthly meeting. Every age, gender and ethnic group were represented in this tiny, stuffy location in North Carolina. Good gracious.

Had I crossed the equator?? Damn! I didn't have my Pass Port.

Once I'd assessed the make-up of the crowd, I glanced at my watch. A few minutes had passed and I was still standing on the dirty linoleum tile at the end of the line. However, now four more people were behind me.

I noticed an uncomfortable tension and a low murmur in the crowd ahead of me. It was then, that I saw the bright yellow plastic sign with red letters - OUT TO LUNCH. Apparently, as I'd entered the DMV... the lady who'd been serving OUR LINE had defiantly dismissed the crowd in front of her as she placed her sign on the counter and left her post. Lovely.

I chortled out loud at the IRONY of an OUT-TO-LUNCH sign posted by a worker at a DMV office. I mean, hello? Isn't it the public perception that all the government workers employed by the DMV are PERMANENTLY out-to-lunch??? Isn't that a personality REQUIREMENT to working there?

The Asian woman a few folks ahead of me, turned and smiled. I asked her how long she'd been standing in this line, "nearly an hour & a half," she chirped sweetly. I was amazed by her perky attitude in the face of such...CRAPPY SERVICE!

The young Hispanic woman standing directly in front of me, shifted the toddler she was holding. The child was dead weight and fast asleep in her arms. As she did that, the black guy behind me commented that they needed benches so that we could sit down.

My DMV family was taking shape.

Over the course of the next TWO HOURS - I got to know those family members quite well. There was a retired NYC police officer, a tall guy celebrating his birthday, a European couple that looked like they'd stepped off the set of any John Hughes movie from the 80's. The guy behind me kept us all laughing. Although he proclaimed to be an electrician, I told him he'd missed his calling as a comedian.

And, all the while our family gathering was evolving - the DMV workers proceeded to take turns posting the yellow plastic - OUT TO LUNCH sign. I don't know why, but I was amazed and mesmerized by the sheer lunacy of government workers taking lunch breaks... while tired, hungry and angry patrons stood in front of them, waiting for service.

Not to mention, that each worker was either near or severly obese. So, skipping a LUNCH BREAK once in awhile, was probably Doctor recommended!

By the time I reached the front of the line, my back ached, I was out of water and felt like I needed a shower. When it was my turn to approach the damaged counter, I walked to the window of the woman who had LUNCHED first. I'd been in line so long, I actually bit my tongue in an effort to resist the urge to ask her - "Isn't it time for your HAPPY HOUR break?"

Once the experience was over and I climbed back into the vehicle that I now officially OWN, I felt numb and was mentally exhausted. However, I'll always have the memories of my diverse DMV family.

As I turned left onto the road home, I wondered how the tall guy was going to celebrate the rest of his birthday....................

We Travel Well

August, 2008


The Southern Gentleman and I are approaching FOUR MONTHS of wedded 'bliss'.

Well, 'bliss' may be a bit of a stretch. We're still adjusting to the day-to-day' stuff' of having another human being in your space.

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around - how it is possible for my sweet husband to be capable of getting the food out of its container, digesting it, getting the dishes back into the kitchen however - for some odd and unexplainable reason, he can't take the LAST LEAP of putting the used dishes in the DISH WASHER!

The sweet SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN will come in the front door after a long day of work, give me a tender kiss on the cheek as he passes by me... on his way to the sofa. A mere 'nano-second' later, I follow him... in his path as I sweetly ask him about his work day.

To my UTTER AMAZEMENT - I'll find him sitting on the sofa wearing nothing but his underpants, black socks and white under-shirt!!

It's as if his clothes MAGICALLY fall off his body as he strolls from the kitchen a mere 18 feet into the living room.

The site of my husbands boxer-briefed butt - hitting the cushions of our $1,000 contemporary sofa, makes me shudder. ......I want to implode, when he places his moist-black- socked-feet on our equally 'hip' coffee table.

I want to gauge my own eyes out....just to block the image. YIKES!

However, when he looks at me with those ultra-blue eyes and he makes me laugh at the most INAPPROPRIATE moments he melts my heart over and over and over. When he walks me to my car on a rainy morning while holding the umbrella or when he greets me at the end of the day with a Bloody Mary in a chilled glass.... I remember why we stood at the alter in front of God and our family and pledged our love to each other.

I've realized something else - WE TRAVEL WELL TOGETHER.

This is a HUGE detail to discover. The SOUTHERN GENT and I have taken several mini-trips since we've been married and I'm thrilled to report that we make fantastic travel companions.

Although I'm an ULTRA-PLANNER in my daily life - I try and relax a bit when on vacation. I like to have a 'casual plan'. Nothing too detailed or time sensitive. When on vacation I like to sleep late and NOT follow an arduous schedule. Thankfully, my husband has a similar travel strategy.

He rolls with the punches. He keeps me calm as we navigate through AIRPORT HELL. If we travel by car, he does all the driving. (I offer to help, but he refuses to relinquish the wheel) And, that's okay-by-me. Considering I'm the gal that would fight sleep on a quick jaunt from Milwaukee to Chicago. (a mere 90 miles) If I have to drive any distance longer than 45 mins...my eyelids get heavy and my legs cramp up.

So, the SOUTHERN GENTS' desire to drive the auto - is an amazing compliment to my desire to sit in the passenger seat, read magazines interspersed with lengthy moments of napping.

Finding out we have similar TOURISM TASTES is such a lovely revelation. Considering, my family is nearly 1,000 miles away from where we currently live. And, my closest friends are scattered from Virginia to Texas and New York.

We will be travelling. Therefore, having the SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN as a Travel Companion - is a pretty nice bonus to this whole married-life-thing.

It just HAS to be said....

July, 2008

I've been biting my lip and tongue for FAR TOO LONG. Some things just HAVE TO BE SAID out loud...(or, at least in Cyber-space)

• I'm an avid cyclist. And, rarely is there a ride that I don't encounter a near miss -accident courtesy of a passing vehicle coming too close for my comfort. In the last few years the Gi-normous SUV's have become my nemesis. And, it just HAS TO BE SAID - that invariably after I regain control of the bike following a near-tragic auto-cyclist confrontation...I'm watching as a 'Mom-in-a-mini-van' decked out in her designer jogging suit, sits upon the leather seat of her SUV throne, talking on her cell phone. As the vehicle continues on its path, I'm left staring at the back window that is plastered with a variety of Soccer ball shaped window-clings. Hmmm, so curious that an 'athletic supporter' like the proud 'Mom-in-a-mini-van' is incapable of giving an actual athlete the appropriate amount of space to pass.

• What flavor Kool-aid are parents drinking that enables them to BELIEVE that giving their pre-teen a cell phone guarantees that they KNOW WHERE THE KID IS AT ALL TIMES? It just HAS TO BE SAID: Wake up 'parental units' your kid could be sipping tequila, smoking a joint while holding up a Bank and still take your phone call. Now that the kid has the phone, the rest of the sane population is forced to hear their INANE conversations in all public places. Because, GOD forbid if they should be standing idly in a line ANYWHERE without chatting loudly with someone on the other end. Not to mention the 'click-click-click' of the phone keys as they text message invisible pals in cyber space using initials instead of words in a new style of communicating that will certainly have long lasting repercussions. May 'the force' be with their future supervisors when these attention-depraved kids enter the real-world-of work someday.

ONE MONTH!

June, 2008

We got married one month ago today. It's actually hard to believe how fast time flies (when you're having fun).

There are frequent brief moments, that I still fantasize about our wedding day. I fondly remember the details and grasp onto the memories to ensure they stay in my brain forever.

I remember waking up that morning and reading the lovely greeting card the Southern Gentleman had left for me. The envelope had strict instructions written in his jagged handwriting. OPEN ON THE MORNING OF MAY 17, 2008.

The card contained a heartfelt message that warmed me all over and put a smile on my face that refused to fade until I closed my eyes in sleep later that night.

I remember lounging in the incredibly comfy terry cloth robe, courtesy of the Westin Hotel, as the hairdresser primped and poked - to accomplish the soft, sassy look I wanted. My mother and two bridesmaids arrived next. The girls looked lovely in the simple espresso brown skirt/top outfits complimented by the bright orange necklaces.

My mother looked outstanding in just the perfect dress. When I saw my Dad later, I held back tears. I was able to spend some quality time with them, before the day got too crazy and I will cherish those private moments forever.

The Wedding Ceremony was holy and blessed. We had a full Catholic mass, and our guests thanked us over and over again for celebrating in a sacred way. The luncheon reception was relaxed and full of light-hearted moments and details. The food was amazing and the cupcakes (instead of wedding cake) was a whimsical alternative.

In the past month - many people have asked me if 'life' is different now that I'm married. I'm perplexed by that line of questioning....I'm still the same person, yet the anxious look on the face of the questioner - makes me feel like I'm supposed to have some GRAND answer.

"Yes, my whole world is different, EVERYTHING has changed. Life with my husband has altered every single thing I ever did or believed in prior to meeting him."

Is THAT what I'm supposed to say?

The pre-wedding hype was nearly overwhelming. People who barely paid attention to me prior to the engagement, seemed overly thrilled with the pending nuptials and asked zillions of questions about me, my fiance and wedding plans. And now, those same people seemed determined to find out how I'd changed now that I'd uttered the words, "I Do."

Although, I don't feel like I've personally changed... upon further reflection - I suppose a few things of daily life have changed. I now look forward to leaving work and anticipating dinners with the Southern Gentleman. I'm still the irreverent, verbal lady I was a mere month ago - however...now I have a captive audience for my political diatribes and rants about day-to-day interactions with IMPOSSIBLE people.

The Southern Gentleman is non-judgemental and listens patiently while I spout off about 'world injustices' and 'odd human behavior'. Recently, I came home from an exhausting day at work and after he welcomed me with a hug and a few brief kisses, I looked at him and muttered, "People bug me and I don't make enough money."

Without hesitation, he answered, "I know baby."

Every once in awhile, when he walks through the door, I look up and have to remember that we are married and that we actually live together. Occasionally, when he disrupts my quiet 'girl-time' by changing the TV from the Oxygen Channel to the History Channel - I glance over at him and say, "Why are you here?"

To some, that would be an insult, but the Southern Gentleman is non-pulsed. "I'm here forever baby, get used to it." and he turns up the volume on the tv (just for emphasis).

He holds his own and is equally independent and irreverent, he just packages it up a bit more sweetly. During a recent battle of wits, he looked at me and said, "why are you here? Go for a run or ride your bike or something." We both erupted into a fit of laughter...in large part because we were laying in bed and it was nearly 11:00 pm.

Have things changed for me now that I'm married? I suppose they have. However, it doesn't feel like a change but rather it feels more like an extended relationship with my best friend. And, that is AMAZING.

Day to Day

May, 2008


There is an odd phenomenon that seems universally experienced by folks, following LARGE LIFE EVENTS.



During my college years, as a women's basketball player, - we were expected to report to campus weeks before our classmates. We showed up for summer work-outs, and spent countless hours in the blazing sun, running and getting in shape for the season. Over Christmas break, while our fellow students had a month vacation, we had to stay on campus for two-a-day workouts and long road trips. However, once the season was over - and we had to blend in and become 'regular' students again - there was ALWAYS a 'blue-period' of mourning. There was a LET-DOWN. An emptiness settled in - once the spotlight of the season had dimmed.



The same LET-DOWN phenomenon takes over after one of my Triathlons. I spend months training and sacrificing for Race Day. Then, once the race is over (and, I've sufficiently showered) the 'blue period lasts for about a week.



May 17th- was our WEDDING DAY. The Southern Gentleman and I were surrounded by 52 of our closest family and friends in an intimate ceremony. Our reception was a fabulous luncheon that incorporated some unique elements reflecting our personalities.







By 5:30 pm we were married, well fed, and blissfully happy at the Hotel. We spent the next three days immersed in a stay-at-home honeymoon that included a nature hike, wine & cheese on a blanket near the lake, lounging around and an amazing sushi dinner.



On Thursday, we both returned to work. As I drove in that morning, I felt the 'blue-period' silently sneaking into my psyche. By Saturday (a.k.a. - our one week anniversary) I felt like I had WAY too much time on my hands. After FIVE MONTHS of non-stop work, wedding planning and detail monitoring - the Wedding went off without a single hitch.


However, in a weird twist of irony, I actually found myself missing the days of crazy anxiety and minutia management. What's THAT about?


I lamented to the Southern Gentleman - "we're just a boring married couple now. No one is treating us special or congratulating us anymore. I liked being treated like a princess and wearing my lovely bridal headband."


The Southern Gentleman smiled and said, "You can wear it around the house baby, you're my little princess."


In my Sister-in-Singlehood Days, a sappy comment like that would make me choke back a disgusted grunt - however....in the Post-Wedding-Day-LET-DOWN-Blues...I threw my arms around the neck of my MAN as he looked at me with those baby blue eyes and I THANKED HIM for marrying me.


We're getting used to Day-to-Day life as a married couple....with no one paying attention.

We're MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!

No MEN in the planning!

May 2008

Let me just begin by emphasizing that I have NEVER been the girl who dreamed of her wedding from childhood. Rarely, if ever, did I think about what my dress and my DAY would look like.

Hell, for most of my life - I was trying to figure out how to get the guys to actually LOOK at me and pick me as a DATE rather than the First baseman or the lead-off for Kick-ball.

I was a Tom-Boy tried and true. Seriously, I cried more tears and had more angst during adolescence and well into adult-hood, as I tried to figure out a way to shed the Tom-boy-mentality and emerge as a delicate (freaking) chick.
(I still struggle)

Having a ten year career in the sports broadcasting industry didn't help matters either. But, by then - I was making money and didn't really give a crap. (again, still working on the dainty side of me)

However, in some bizarre twist of romantic-irony - I have found an amazing guy. And, that amazing guy asked me to marry him. He doesn't seem phased at all - by the little single-chick tendencies that I'd been told were my 'down-fall'. Gosh, how many ADVICE-GIVERS told me I'd find a guy quicker if I'd just do.......(insert comment here)
And, most of those comments had to do with softening up my female persona.
UGH - I just wanted to be ME! Well, my Southern Gentleman, finds that perfectly acceptable.
Which is why I thank GOD for him every day. (Well, at least every Sunday)
We are getting married in two weeks - and the wedding planning has proceeded in similar fashion to how I've lived my life up until this point. I'm focused on the important parts of the day - and all the FLUFFY STUFF is a mere passing thought. Our wedding ceremony and luncheon reception will be classy/comfortable and semi-casual.
JUST LIKE US!
Since I only had 5 months to get this Blessed Event thrown together (we both agreed a long engagement was silly) and I had just begun a new job - and ALL of my close friends and family live Out-of-State.....the biggest challenge for me, was finding the TIME to plan this freaking wedding by myself.
All of my triathlon training came into play as I stayed Laser-focused on the details of wedding planning. When I'm training for a race - I have to successfully merge my personal and professional life with all my training.
Wedding planning had to fit into the schedule with the personal, professional and training aspects of my life.
With all of that to contend with - The INTERNET became my savior. I did a lot of research and ordering on-line from the comfort of my apartment, typically in the middle-of-the-night. I ordered my dress on-line and many of the supporting details of the DAY.
I was able to successfully avoid the wedding dress SHOPS, the Bridal Shows, the Bridal Magazines and all the seriously silly Bridal STUFF the experts claim is paramount. NONE OF IT APPLIED to me!
However, there came a time - when I needed to buy my strappy sandals that I'd wear on the wedding DAY. And, being a six foot woman with a size 12 shoe - makes shoe-shopping in the traditional way - NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE. Through investigation and advice seeking - I was told that DAVIDS BRIDAL was the place for me to go.
I went to their website and my heart skipped a beat as I realized you couldn't order shoes on-line. I was going to have to GO INTO THE STORE!!! I think that was the exact moment I broke out in a rash on my neck (that I'm still trying to clear up)
The first trip to DAVIDS BRIDAL was exactly the Bride-zilla Freak Show I'd imagined in my minds eye. Dainty little tanned 20-something girls with their moms and gal-pals - trying on dress after dress after dress while they squealed and giggled and tugged at the gowns. UGH!
I nearly choked as the size 0 blonde with deep dark tan and over sized silicone breasts came out from behind the curtain with a strapless number that should only be considered if you are a Bridal-Themed STRIPPER. As I attempted to slide my size 12 into a size 11 SHE attempted to hold the dress up as her breasts begged to fall out the front. And, her equally blonde gal-pal squealed with excitement as they both agreed "THIS IS THE ONE!!"
I shook my head in disgust as I tried to envision the poor young guy that was to be her groom.
When I emerged from the Bridal dungeon into the bright Carolina sunshine, I grimaced at the thought of this particular Bridal shop being named after a MAN. It made me wonder if the Davids Bridal inventor-guy got together with the ill-fitting BRA-guy and the stiletto high-heel guy and they all plotted ways to SCREW WITH THE MINDS OF WOMEN!!
Mission accomplished.
A mere two days after the Bridal Shop nightmare - I was searching for a florist to provide the very simple floral needs for our wedding DAY. Our color-scheme is chocolate and orange with a hint of ivory as a compliment color. I had a very specific vision in my head. Again, simple and under-stated...yet, a bit whimsical. With that in mind, I began interviewing perspective floral specialists.
Our vision was to have the orange Gerber daisy be a focal point in our simple arrangements. None of the women I spoke to seemed to have a problem with that - until I called the local shop and TODD answered the phone. After describing to him what our choices were - he tersely told me that, "We don't use Gerber daisy's for wedding arrangements"
Me: "Why is that? Are they a difficult flower to work with?" I wondered
Him: "No, it's not that...we just don't use that flower at ALL for wedding arrangements"
Again, I pressed him for a reason and he sighed as he said, "Well, we are a very high-end provider and we would only consider using that flower for smaller events, possibly an afternoon event or luncheon."
Me: "You mean, like my 50 person afternoon outdoor luncheon reception?"
Him: SILENCE
Me: "So, let me get this straight - If the BRIDE who is PAYING you requests orange Gerber daisy's you would refuse to work with her?"
Him: "Again, we really only work with luxurious arrangements....." BLAH, BLAH, BLAH
At some point during his rambling message I interrupted him - "Yea, Yea, I get it - we're too small and not classy enough for you to work with....have a nice day"
CLICK
The Wedding Day planning is nearing a close and all-in-all the process has been relatively painless. However, I do find it curious that the only two un-plesant experiences I've had included Men.......
I'm just saying.....................

The SECRET Society

April 2008

Until a mere four months ago - I was the Founding Czar of the

SISTERS-IN-SINGLEHOOD.

Although I've had to relinquish my supreme position in the 'Organization' since getting engaged to the SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN.... I feel quite certain that my connectivity will remain constant. In my heart, I'll always be the strong, single woman that championed through years of LIFE while pole-vaulting over obstacles along the way.

I don't know about OTHER women - but, I don't feel any different just because I have a (LOVELY) ring on my finger, indicating that I'll soon MARRY the SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN.

I'm still the outspoken, irreverent and slightly non-'P.C.' person that has snow-plowed through life up until meeting a wonderful man. A man, who endures my verbal diatribes that flow freely, as I tackle life, politics and day-to-day issues that get me 'worked' up. He listens patiently while frequently adding his own softer, gentler comments.

Even though I don't feel any different - it's AMAZING how everyone around me is treating me like I've crossed over into a SECRET SOCIETY. I'm curious, does a NEWSLETTER go out, when a woman gets engaged??? I mean, is there some silent signal...like a DOG WHISTLE that is sounded and everyone gathers together to WELCOME ANOTHER MEMBER to the 'wonderful-world-of-MARRIEDS' ?

The engagement ring goes on - and people that would've passed -me- by- in the past - NOW, grab my left hand and ask details about the 'wedding planning'. NO ONE cared about the details of my single life....no one asked me about how I spent my weekends, fed myself or seemed to care at ALL about how I navigated through LIFE prior to 'the rock'.

Now, folks I don't even know are congratulating me, giving me un-solicited advice and sharing details about THEIR marriage.

I've had more than a handful of people comment on my 'GLOW'.

• "Love looks good on you, you're glowing!"


• "Your skin looks lovely, you glow like a bride-to-be"
  

Hey - NEWSFLASH folks - I'm not GLOWING...I changed moisturizers about six months ago - and apparently, it's WORKING!!

Even a couple of my Alzheimer's residents have weighed in. Seriously, they can't remember the day of the week, the DECADE or what they ate for lunch....but, they actually remember that I'm getting married. One lady, who 'babbles inaudibly' 85% of the time - speaks VERY CLEARLY when she sees me and comments, "Oh, you look amazing. Your skin is so fresh, you are excited to be getting married".

The first time she did that, I was amazed and mystified. Rarely can she put a full sentence together yet alone a comprehensive thought. However - somehow MAGICALLY - my pending Nuptials have shifted molecules in her brain. I may have un-wittingly stumbled across a new Alzheimer's disease intervention - that triggers the short-term memory synapses. WEDDING PLANNING & GETTING MARRIED.

Good gracious, that is a truly potent elixir.

Another indicator that I'd 'crossed over' into the formerly elusive - SECRET SOCIETY - was when I was on the phone with my insurance agent. During the conversation I indicated my pending Nuptials. After he congratulated me with the enthusiasm and vigor that I would only use when congratulating a Nobel Peace Prize winner - he informed me that I should call him back after the 'blessed day' to make the appropriate adjustments to my SINGLE-GAL policy. He then shared the secret info. with me about how my policy rate will be cheaper once I'm MARRIED!

"Really?" I remarked. "My car insurance will be less now that I've partnered up with another auto driver, in good standing?"

He chuckled. I scratched my head as I silently wondered about all the additional FINANCIAL WINDFALLS that I may encounter - simply because I say "I DO".

Well, I didn't have to wait long because a couple of days later - I called my cell phone provider to get a status check on my contract. During that call while speaking to the helpful phone operator in Bangladesh - I mentioned I'd be having an address change shortly because I was getting married.

She vigorously congratulated me and instantly gave me 100 free extra 'anytime' minutes as a 'GIFT' from the cell phone company. I was dazzled and bewildered. I mean - why hadn't anyone given me FREE STUFF when I was terminally single and UN-EMPLOYED???? Good gracious, I couldn't even get a call back - let alone FREE MERCHANDISE a mere Year ago.

I graciously thanked her for that generous 'GIFT' and wished her a "good evening" as I attempted to hang up the phone. To which, she corrected me that it was (Tomorrow) morning where she was. An instant dose of 'modern-day -out-sourcing reality'. I had sooooooooo many Un-PC things I wanted to utter - but, held my tongue. Hell, she'd just given me 100 free 'anytime' minutes.

As the wedding date approaches at warped speed - I am left to ponder the odd irony of my situation. Although, I am convinced I am still the same person NOW that I was a mere YEAR ago...

I am constantly reminded about how much better my skin looks, how much cheaper things are and how much nicer (and nosier) everyone is when they hear you are on the Brink of being Married. If I knew all these perks came along with the position - I may have APPLIED years ago.

However, the SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN is always quick to tell me that it was my Glowing personality, intelligence and sense of humor that drew him to me - when I was SINGLE!

Thank goodness he realizes that I'm still the same person - regardless of which group in society claims me as their own.

Wedding Planning My Way!

February, 2008

Life has been moving at warped speed since the SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN proposed marriage to me on December 7th, 2007.

STEP ONE - setting the date.

The SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN & I aren't young kids. At the time of the proposal - we were BOTH nestled nicely in our 30s. However, in January - I crossed over the horizon of the 'New 30'.
Along with our 'advanced' age - this is a first marriage for both of us... and we agreed that we didn't need a long engagement.

We agreed on a lot. The wedding would be in North Carolina, it would be small (family only), it would be in a Church and it would NOT be in the summer months.

With those parameters in mind....I called the Church.

I had been attending St. Peter's since I moved to Charlotte in December of 2006. I had officially joined the parish in August 2007 and was a loyal Sunday worshiper. However, because I hadn't been a 'contributing' (registered) member for a full year - The VOICE on the other end of the phone told me I was going to be charged $300 for the privledge of walking down their isle.

"Hmmmm, let the 'games' begin"...I thought.

I was prepared for wedding planners, cake decorators and venue managers to SCREW me with their costs - However, I wasn't prepared for my place of worship to SCREW me!

The VOICE proceeded to prattle off additional costs....$200 for the organ player, $200 for the church-appointed wedding planner, $99 for the mandatory marriage workshop and a suggested stipen of no less than $100 for the priest who makes it official. I swallowed hard....

This was my first investigative wedding planning phone call - and the price tag already had reached $1,000. God Bless America!

After The VOICE dumped the financial garbage on me - she then informed me that the church was "booked until September." "Really?" I squeaked. (we didn't want to wait nine months)

After a few more minutes of gentle prodding - I got her to flip through the Wedding Book to check for earlier options. I could hear the pages turning as she searched for another open date. "Nope, " she muttered - "we are all booked throuth September." (pregnant pause)..... "Except......"

I held my breath

"There is one date available.....Eleven in the morning on May 17th."

My heart skipped a beat and a warm flush came over me. It was like a SIGN FROM ABOVE.

That date - May 17, 2008 was the SOUTHERN GENTLEMANS parents 46th wedding anniversary. And, it was a mere two days after MY parents 54th wedding anniversary.

That weekend had a powerful place in our hearts. And, that was the ONLY DATE available between December 2007 and September 2008? I felt certain, it was a sign.

"We'll take it!!" I screeched.

It was official - the date was set.

STEP TWO - the details.

After that phone call - I became a woman-on-a-mission to plan OUR wedding day with a casual elegance that would define our style. The SOUTHERN GENT & I have NOT fallen prey to what the industry 'professionals' tell the masses they MUST have to get married.

In our wedding performance - The groom is wearing a suit, the bride is wearing an ivory colored gown from Nordstrom dot com that came in the mail and fit right the first time. We're having a luncheon reception with several unique elements including cupcakes instead of a traditional wedding cake.

We'll be surrounded by loved ones that have supported us throughout our lives. It will be intimate and better yet - the whole day will reflect who we are as a couple.

We are approximately three months from our wedding date - and all the major components are already in place. So far, this experience has brought us closer together as a couple. If I could impart any wisdom on my fellow Brides-to-be.....it would be this: don't follow the rules, follow your heart.

Throw the handbook out the window and fly by the seat of your pants. Include your groom and go with your gut. It feels good - and the results are so much more personal.

Holy crap - is it possible that the former President of the Sisters-in-Singlehood is giving wedding-planning advice??

YIKES! Pigs are actually flying.

Imagine that!