A MILLION miles from where I began



December, 2008


I just celebrated my first Christmas as a married woman. The Southern Gentleman was like a rambunctious little boy on Christmas Day. Woke up early with a gi-normous smile on his face and an even brighter twinkle in those blue eyes. He'd been anxiously anticipating Christmas since Halloween. By Thanksgiving, his enthusiasm for Christmas was even rubbing off on me, a little. And believe me, I am the ORIGINAL Christmas Grinch - ask anyone that knows me.


The Gent was on a one-man mission to convert me from the cynical dis-interested Christmas scrooge that I'd been for as long as I could remember - into a smiling, pleasant, angelic Christmas Spirit.


God Bless him!


Christmas night, I was nestled into the 'nook' of my husband, his arm around me and my head on his shoulder. From our love seat vantage point - we could see the cousins, aunts, uncles and nephews around the room. The Christmas tree glowed from the corner while the candles bathed the room in a soft warmth.


The Gents' family was sharing stories and re-living family histrionics from years-gone-by. Even though I'd only known these people for a little over a year.....I had heard some of these epic-stories before. But, it didn't matter...the laughter and the love was evident. For the first time since my own childhood - I found myself enjoying Christmas!


Wow, I was a MILLION miles away from where my journey began.


There have been so many moments throughout my seven month marriage - that I have to pause and reflect. I reflect upon what my life was like just a few years ago. I reflect about my previous profession and the folks I considered friends. I reflect about the men I had dated and realize what a complete waste of time those un-holy unions were.


When the SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN holds my hand or gives me a wink of his eye from across the room - my heart melts to a puddle of love. I realize that all those so-called 'relationships' were just a figment of my imagination. Not a single one of those men I called boyfriend could even catch my attention now. They could be naked and on fire - and I wouldn't even cast a gaze in their direction.


The SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN has changed my entire outlook on what is attractive and meaningful in a relationship. I'm a MILLION miles away from where my journey began.

The people I call 'FRIEND' is a much smaller number than it was back in my 20s and early 30s. Gosh, back in those days - friends were synonymous with DRINKING buddies. Friends became anyone who was available and enjoyed the same bars and clubs I did. Not that I drank a lot - but, I did like to go out and have a good time....often.

Now? Well, I can count my closest and dearest friends on ONE HAND. Unfortunately for me, they span the countryside. From Virginia to Texas and into New York, not a single dear friend lives in the City I inhabit. This doesn't count the SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN. Clearly, he is my best friend, my favorite person....But, a woman needs a strong circle of Gal-Pals....like-minded-ladies....Chicks, who 'GET IT'.

And, now that I've crossed over into the decade of the NEW THIRTY....I just find it nearly impossible to expand the circle of tolerable females, Ladies - who accept me as I am, flaws and all. Who don't judge - who support at all costs - yet, tell me when I've lost my mind - and are willing to help me find it. Those are the types of gals that grow increasingly difficult to find - the older we get. Which makes me appreciate the sisters that have seen me through it all. I met my Texas gal-pal when I was 18. Good Lord - I don't even resemble the person I was when we met...neither does she.

And, that's okay. We've BOTH come a MILLION MILES from where that journey began.

Professionally? Yikes - I don't even recognize myself in that category anymore. This area, has been the most difficult to come to terms with. The afore-mentioned gal-pals can attest - I still have a long way to travel..to be okay with my current professional position in life.

As a Broadcast Journalist - I was in the center of it all. I had front row seats and was witness to some of the greatest moments in SPORTS HISTORY. I was court side back in the 90s when the Chicago Bulls (you know the REAL Bulls- Jordan, Pippen, Rodman - the one-name wonders!) won their 70th consecutive victory against the Milwaukee Bucks at the Bradley Center. That was the first time I interviewed Michael Jordan. It was sports nirvana.

I was at the Jets home opener when Vinnie Testeverde went down with a season-ending injury and Keyshawn Johnson cried at the podium in the post game press conference.

I BROKE the story on New York radio - when the Jets coach, Bill Parcells (aka - the Big Tuna) announced Bill Belichick as his replacement - only to have Belichick take the podium and say, "Thanks, but no Thanks - I'm going to New England." That was a sports moment - that still gives me chills. I remember rushing to the ladies bathroom and calling the radio station and demanding the producer put me on the air immediately. From the acoustically challenged bathroom at the Jets training facility...I broke the biggest story of the moment. Memories...........................

I was invited to parties and had NFL and NBA head coaches on speed dial. I ate sushi several times a week and people recognized my voice when I spoke.

Now? I'm as far away from the bright lights of Broadway as one person could possibly get. I punch a clock and am responsible for the 'Life Enrichment' of 33 men and women who suffer from Alzheimer's disease. The corporate mandate is that NO ONE can work over 40 hours per week, they aren't matching our 401K this year -thanks to the economy... and they've even taken away a vacation day from everyone.

I've gone from the court side at Madison Square Garden to the Bedside of a dying resident. I don't interview professional athletes anymore...I comfort people who don't even remember my name. I make over 25 thousand dollars less than I did from my last job.

However, I've never been as enriched and as fulfilled as I am in this current role. Sure, the micro-managing of Health Care is a challenge for a creative free spirit, like myself. Yet, I am forging new paths and bringing my residents along for the ride. I've developed programs and initiatives at every company that has employed me. My broadcast background actually was a superior training ground for 'reaching -across -the -isle' and forging partnerships that old-school health care folks never even thought of.

Instead of breaking the story or getting the quote - the new professional buzz is to develop creative programming for my residents with Memory impairment. We don't play Bingo every day in my building. We go to the Theater and out to lunch. We don't sit and watch the world go by - we invite area dance and music professionals in - to entertain us. And, yes - I mean professional. I got a local Ballet group to bring a scaled-down ensemble in to perform the NUTCRACKER -in full costume. It was a great programming moment.

My residents don't always remember my name, but hell - neither did Michael Jordan or Patrick Ewing. The work I do now is incredibly rewarding. Incredibly LOW PAYING....but, none-the-less.....rewarding. And, as I continue to wrap my mind around the low wages and the nearly non-existent recognition for good work.............

this leg of my journey is already propelling me a MILLION MILES AWAY from where I began...and that's okay.