Lessons Learned

October, 2007

Although I've met the SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN, I still consider myself Grand Chairwoman of the Universal Order of SISTERS in SINGLEHOOD.

After finally landing back in the world-of-work, I'm feeling energized by the steady (albeit small) paycheck. I'm getting back into my work-out routine and slowly emerging from the 15 month haze of un-easiness (AKA - unemployment).

I'm starting to feel like my 'old' self. However, my 'old' self is a newer and improved version.

I spent YEARS chasing the career dream. I moved around the country submerged myself in details and schedules and never hesitated to work long hours, weekends and holidays. I used to 'scoff' at my co-workers who would leave work early because they had 'family commitments'.

I pitied them. I thought they were 'slackers' who used family excuses to get out of doing a full days work.

Looking back, I still think some of those folks were legitimate 'slackers'. However, I've also learned some very valuable lessons over the last 15 months. Lessons, I wouldn't have been 'open' to absorbing, if it weren't for the unemployment journey I was FORCED into.

I've learned that - making a decent salary and living a comfortable lifestyle can be taken away in an 'unexpected instant'. NOTHING is for sure. So, why not enjoy the ride?

For the FIRST TIME in my life, I'm actually working a 40 (ish) hour work-week. Those extra 20 hours a week which I previously spent at the 'office' are now spent doing OTHER things that enrich my existence. I spend superior quality time with my aging parents and have maintained very important and solid relationships with valuable friends all over the country.

I'm eating healthier. During unemployment, it was out of necessity. I couldn't AFFORD to dine out and therefore bought groceries and made 'dishes' at home. During this phase, I realized that not only was this new dining routine economical but, the process of preparing the meal was therapeutic, relaxing and enjoyable.

I don't 'save the good stuff' anymore. During job-less-ness, as I spent more time at home alone with myself - I realized that over the years I had amassed nice things. Nice dishes, nice clothes, nice candles, perfumes, towels and 'things'. However, I wasn't USING any of these 'things'.

Maybe it was because now I was home every day and had time to actually do an inventory of my belongings and discovered many things that weren't being used. So, I began using them daily.

Now, I drink wine (albeit in-expensive) out of my nicest long stemmed glasses. I eat off my best plates by candle light with cloth napkins. And, YES - prior to the SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN I was doing this ALL ALONE. No excuses.

I was enjoying MY SELF and MY STUFF!

The biggest, most noteable difference in the NEW VERSION of my former self has been the addition of the SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN.

When he entered my life I was in the ninth month of the job-less journey and felt like I was drowning daily. Rejections were coming my way in the form of letters, e-mails and phone calls at a steady pace. The one thing that had 'identified' me for my entire adult life had been stripped away and I felt completely exposed and out- of- sorts.

I remember one night, early in our getting-to-know-you phase, when I was regailing the SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN with stories from my 'previous life.' In an effort to comfort my own insecurities, I proclaimed - "I used to be somebody!"

He tilted his head to the side while looking me directly in the eyes with his soft southern accent he assured me, "You already ARE somebody baby."

And, the funny thing is - He may just be right.