I'm HUMBLED.

March, 2009


I'm a non-conformist. I've always ventured onto the path less travelled. I've never been 'in the box' cuz I've spent my entire life living, working and playing - OUTSIDE the box, the lines, the rules.....whatever.

In sports - I was the underdog. The girl that had to spend countless additional hours in the gym. It was sweat equity that led to my success - not always natural ability.

Professionally - I've had to scrape, claw and chisel from the bottom of the ladder. In fact, I've done that in 2 careers - and multiple times, thanks to bumps and job loss along the way.

In love? - Well - let's be honest. I'm the back-of-the-pack gal. I waited 40 years for Mr. Right to arrive.


I lost my first job - back in the late 90's during the dot-com crisis. I lost my second job in 2006 - and felt like the lone-unemployed loser on the planet. While everyone was buying their Mc-Mansions, travelling around the world and having babies - I was cutting coupons, working for a temp agency and selling my condo - just to financially survive.

I landed back in health care and found myself back in familiar territory. At the Bottom of the professional ladder. Ugh - it's an exhausting place to be. It's especially exhausting - after you'd spent some healthy time - higher up the corporate ladder. For a period - I'd found a position at the mahogany table in the Board Room. I was involved and connected. I made a nice living and was carving a niche in the Senior Living industry.

But, in September of 2008, I was back at the bottom, looking up the skirts of the folks standing on my hands and shoulders of that damn corporate ladder. I felt blessed to be back in health care - however...was filled with angst and stress as I wondered how I could muster the strength, Yet Again - to claw my way back up to the top.

As the economy and the world around me became more crazy and more un-settled I actually found a way to just be satisfied with my job. The paycheck was small - but, heck - I was getting paid, while others were beginning to lose their jobs. Although, I knew I was capable of so much more - I found a way to wrap my brain around my professional status.

And then - the call came in.

I'd interviewed for a job back in November and had mentally dismissed it - when the conversations came to a halt over the Holidays.

I continued to punch the time clock on the freaking wall every day - and just mentally prepared to do that until the END OF TIME!

Then, one day as I walked between buildings at the job that had become my albatross - I checked my voice mail messages - and there it was. The voice of the recruiter. She was curious, if I may still be interested in the professional opportunity we'd discussed several months earlier.

I returned her call - and everything after that became a bit of a blur. I had a couple of more phone interviews with the major players followed by an excruciating on-line Personality Evaluation. The OFFER call came quickly after that and before I knew it - I was sitting in the office of the Director of HR at my albatross - handing in my letter of resignation.

Ah, I could actually see DAYLIGHT from my new professional position. No more bottom of the ladder!

However, this whole experience has given me new reasons to pause and be cautious. I found myself asking - "Why me? Why now?" At the most financially un-certain and un-settling time in the history of America - I was landing the best job - I'd ever had. Was this a joke?

Not only was I not going to punch a time clock anymore..... NOW - I had an entire REGION to cover. No more WALLS confining me - And, the expense account, salary and bonus opportunities were a nice added value as well.

But, why? How is this possible? And, I'm not kidding - these thoughts began creeping in - and began keeping me awake at night. Yes, I'd waited, prayed and held my breath, hoping to be in this exact position - however, now that it was here - I felt un-nerved, un-prepared and self conscious. What was happening to me?

I voiced these concerns over the phone to my number one fans - My Parents. Clearly, they've followed my life and career journey - the entire way. They'd held my hands and wiped my tears and cheered and supported every success and hiccup along the way. During our celebratory phone call - as I explained the details of this new opportunity...I paused and said the words,

"you know - I'm a bit uncomfortable. As half the free world seems to be losing their jobs, why am I getting such a great job?"

My dear father, didn't miss a beat. He consoled me by acknowledging my concerns and pointed out, in the way only a father could - "Well, Ellen you need to be humble. This is humbling, for sure. Count your blessings."

My eyes welled up with tears. He was right.

hum·ble

adj. hum·bler, hum·blest
1. Marked by meekness or modesty in behavior, attitude, or spirit; not arrogant or prideful.


My dear sweet Southern Gentleman was equally appropriate. One night, while we were in the kitchen making dinner, I paused and uttered the words, " What if this goes away? I've accepted awesome jobs before - that actually turned out too good to be true. I'd lost both those jobs - is it possible, that this time, the Third time is the charm? Or, what if I lose this job too?" my voice was filled with panic.

The Southern Gentleman turned to me, and in his soft voice complete with southern accent he said, " Well then - you'll find another job and we'll just go on like before...."

I smiled and my heart skipped a beat.
Yep, many reasons to be HUMBLE.