North meets South

August, 2007


I am a communicator.


I speak (sometimes excessively) and I write. I'm a voracious reader and therefore have an extensive vocabulary which I exercise regularly. I have been a 'talker' for as long as my memory goes back.


In third grade, on the third day of the new school year - my grouchy old teacher kept me after school because I had been talking too much that afternoon. In fact, she made me move my desk into the Cloak-room - and I had to sit in there the rest of the day. I sat in the dark and dingy coat-hanging- space amongst my classmates smelly 'stuff'. After the school bell rang and everyone headed home, I was forced to sit alone in the classroom while my grouchy old teacher did 'busy' work.


Okay, first of all - Does ANYONE remember Cloak-rooms? And, second, can you imagine the 'Johnny Cochran-sized' LAWSUIT and years of THERAPY that would be the result of such discipline in this day and age?

Gosh, how far we've come.........

ANYWAY - I digress.................

So, I'm a lifelong communicator. Therefore spending the first ten years of my professional career in the Radio Broadcasting industry was NOT a career path - it was DESTINY.

I grew up in Wisconsin and have spent time in North Carolina and New York. Heck, in New York - I rented an apartment from an old-school Italian lady on Long Island and I worked in the City. Good gracious - I battled HARD not to adopt a bridge & tunnel dialect that is VERY distinctive to anyone who has spent time in the Big Apple.

I landed back in Charlotte, North Carolina nearly eight months ago and although this region has been infiltrated by HOARDS of migrants from the Midwest, North and Western parts of the country...there is still a noticeable 'southern accent' that is standard for the natives.

I began dating the 'SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN' in March.

Almost immediately, a unique form of communication developed between the two of us. He- is a native to North Carolina. Although he doesn't have the mis-guided- stereo-typed -version of a southern accent that gets depicted in Bad made-for-tv -movies.......he most certainly has a 'drawl' that my Midwestern/New York ears are not in 'tune' with yet.

Likewise, my fast-talking -sharp -tongued- pattern of speech is most certainly a 'style' of speak that the 'SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN' is struggling to get used to.

There are times I'm looking directly at him yet he mutters some old-time -Southern- Saying that I have to wrestle in my brain to try and decipher. Inevitably, I ask him to repeat himself. "I'm sorry.....WHAT did you just say?" I wince.

"She was ridden hard and put up wet." He repeats.

For the first 3 months of our relationship, I was certain that saying referred to horse-back riding......however, I've since learned differently.

To convey the same 'type' of meaning - I would say, "She looks like she's been dragged around behind a truck for years."

The first time I used the word 'Persnickety' to describe my attention to detail - I thought the 'SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN'S' head was going to levitate off his shoulders. "What?" he bellowed. After spelling it for him and trying to describe it's meaning - he just shook his head and laughed, "Darling, you are crazy."

"Persnickety - Persnickety" I shouted - "It's a WORD!"

Recently, he described the weather conditions of a hunting expedition he'd been on years ago as; "cold as a witches titty."

Okay, are you FREAKING kidding me? I waited for banjos to start playing after he revealed THAT silly saying.

He collects Revolutionary War relics and I shop at Bloomingdale's. He drinks beer, smokes a pipe and owns a Suburban truck that his great grandfather drove on the farm. I sip martini's, listen to talk radio and would rather travel by subway. One saying we BOTH understand is:

"We may not make sense, but we DO fit together." (we invented that saying)

We are the North/South version of Ricky and Lucy. There are times I wish cameras were following us around - because when we try to communicate - we certainly are a comedy show.

I continue to marvel as to why the 'SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN' still calls me and asks me out on dates. I am a challenge. I'm sassy and very verbal. He is gentle and observant and much more mild mannered.

I'm not quite sure how THIS war of North & South will end - but, one thing is assured - Webster will need to publish the 'North/South dictionary of sayings and explanations' - so we can continue to communicate.