2007,
I've just relocated to Charlotte, North Carolina.
2006 was a long journey for me both personally and professionally and when I finally arrived in Charlotte, I felt bruised and battered. However, in no time at all, I began to decompress, relax and investigate my new surroundings. I realized very quickly, that I'd made the right decision to relocate. North Carolina is rich with culture, history and opportunity.
The energy level here is vibrant and contagious.
As a single person, it's always fun to explore the 'single-scene' of a new city. Men and women...can't we all agree?....there is something exhilarating about meeting someone from the opposite sex...when you are in a new environment.
Clearly, Las Vegas coined the phrase, "what happens here, stays here" for a reason.
I've lived in Milwaukee, New York and Charlotte (this is my second tour-of-duty here). The men I've met in those cities are as varied as their accents and appearances.
The farm-fresh lads in Milwaukee are big, strong beer-drinkers.
New York men were a mix of 'joey-bag-of- donuts' meets Kenneth Cole.
And, the gents in Charlotte are both refined and rugged.
I've compared notes with my 'sisters-in-singlehood' and based on the hours and hours of stimulating conversations, (that usually include either martini's or chocolate...and, sometimes BOTH)....... a common theme began to emerge.
During my 30s as I climbed the corporate ladder, purchased a home and finally felt 'comfortable in my own skin'....I remained terminally single. It was odd...the better I felt about myself, the more I seemed to REPEL men. I was perplexed.
After the endless conversations with my 'sisters-in-singlehood', I realized I wasn't alone. They too, were amassing wealth and possessions, yet a date for Friday night, was as elusive as Jimmy Hoffa's remains.
WHAT DO MEN WANT?
Well, we may never know the answer to that.....but, I had a recent conversation with two single and available men, that helped open the 'locker room door' of their mind. I got a disturbing peak inside.
I was out-on-the-town with a guy-pal. I've known him for a decade. We are the same age with similar childhoods and we both graduated from the same University. He's recently single and a lawyer. My legal eagle pal would be considered a 'catch' by all the dating experts.
Around midnight, we meet up with an acquaintance of the legal eagle. The acquaintance was a tall, dark and handsome professional. However, he had a cocky swagger, that registered immediately with me. He was in his mid-thirties and within a second of meeting him, I felt certain he didn't date anyone over the age of 25.
No sooner had we all said "hello" before Mr. 35 launched into a soliloquy about his risque experience the night before with two young 'ladies'.
Ah, gotta love a guy who includes menage a' Trois details in his opening remarks.
At some point, as the cocktails continued...the conversation shifted to the never-ending-mystery of DATING. Before I knew it, I WAS BEING CRITIQUED by the legal eagle and Mr. 35.
Mr. 35 acknowledged that it was "sexy"that I knew so much about sports. "However," he added, "it's very un-sexy if you know too much."
If I knew too much? I asked for clarification. "Well," he began......"I think it's cool that you know the names of the quarterbacks in the NFL but, it's just weird if you can name the colleges they played for as well."(FYI - during this conversation I had not recited either NFL player names or college information) However.....
I was back in familiar territory. I'd had similar exchanges with various men during the TEN YEARS I worked as a sports broadcast journalist. Yes, I was a sports reporter. Primarily in professional sports. I'd worked in Milwaukee, Charlotte and New York. I'd interviewed players from Glen 'Big Dog' Robinson to Anthony Mason, Dennis Rodman and Mike Piazza. I'd talked 'game talk' with coaches like Joe Torre, Dave Cowens and Bill Parcells.
I'd been to the Metro Dome, Wrigley Field, Lambeau Field, Madison Square Garden and the Meadowlands. I'd been in locker rooms, on the field and in the press box.
Sports details, players names, scores and team information wasn't a quirky hobby I had....it was MY JOB!
While I worked in 'the business' I was very careful not to divulge too much information, primarily because most guys would ask for free game tickets once they found out about my career.
However, here it was, the year 2007 and Mr. 35 was telling me.... It was a 'turn OFF' to him if a woman (me) knew more about sports than he did. And, even worse - my legal eagle pal was agreeing with him! UGH!
I quickly pointed out to the two knuckleheads, that their view was absurd. "If I was a doctor would you tell me I couldn't have a medical conversation?"
"NO" they chirped simultaneously.
"If I was an exotic dancer," I continued "would you tell me I couldn't talk about dancing?"
"NO" they both smiled.
"So, even though I made a living in the sports industry....somehow, I'm supposed to pretend not to know anything...because I'm not supposed to know more than a MAN about sports?"
I didn't even need to hear their answer.
The details may be different, but many women have similar stories. I have a gal-pal in Texas who is an accomplished lawyer and triathlete. She's travelled the world, owns a home and is in fantastic shape. Yet, she's another 'sister-in-singlehood'.
How come a smart, secure and established man - is the CATCH OF THE CENTURY.....Yet, a woman with the exact characteristics tends to be the only person left on the island?
Well, I may never know the real answer to that question. However, I do know one thing. Thanks to higher education, better paying jobs and low interest rates.... Women are more educated, higher paid and home owners.
As long as there is enough chocolate and martini's to go around - the 'sisters-in-singlehood' will continue to congregate.
Gather around ladies - the meeting is about to begin!
