February, 2007
Ah, the glorious feeling of a New Year.
Historically, I've never put much stock in New Year 'lore'. I don't make resolutions, I don't give up anything or make any GRAND changes just because the calendar hits January 1st. I'm of the school-of-thought, that we should live each day and each year to the fullest. No regrets. Do your best at all times, so that you don't have to fall to your knees in the 11th hour trying to purge your sins.
Furthermore, I don't get ' giddy' over Valentines Day or Sweetest Day. Primarily because I've been terminally single for so long, that those Hallmark Holidays don't translate into gifts for me.
They translate into even MORE reminders that I'm single. I have to suffer through the Kay Jeweler commercials with everyone else. Their slogan: "every kiss begins with K" is the WAR-CRY reminder that no one will be buying me jewelry anytime soon.
Recently, I've been reflecting on the ROUTE to RELATIONSHIPS.
Maybe it's because I just celebrated another birthday and I'm getting dangerously close to closing out my 30s. Or, maybe its because I just moved to a new city and I'm surrounded by married couples with kids. These couples are my age....and I try to envision myself in their married shoes.
The ROUTE TO RELATIONSHIPS is a long and windy road, isn't it? As I pay closer attention to the paired- off -folks in my presence, I find myself asking each couple I encounter,
"So, how did you two meet?"
And, as you'd imagine, the answers are as diverse as the couples themselves. "We met on an airplane." "We met on a blind date." "We used to work together." "We met at Church." "My brother and he went to college together." "We met in a bar." "My roommate dated him first" "He was my nephew's first grade teacher" "We met at a party." .... blah, blah, blah.
The possibilities are endless.......And, if I DARE to proclaim frustration over my INABILITY to meet a guy, then....I'm forced to endure all the kick-you-in-the-gut cliches. "Oh, Ellen...when you least expect it, you'll meet him." "Ellen, when you stop looking, that's when you'll find him."
UGH.
When I Least expect it? I stopped expecting to meet a date-able guy....YEARS AGO. So, what does that mean?
When I stop looking? Are you freaking kidding me? I stopped looking so long ago, that the only way I'll actually meet a single and available guy is if he walks up to my front door and knocks. And, even then....I may not be home to answer.
Over the course of the last five years , AKA - my relationship free zone, I've flown on planes, gone to church, bars and parties. I've worked at various jobs, been on committees, volunteered my time and met all the teachers of my nieces and nephews.
Not one of these daily -acts -of -living has resulted in a ..... .....
Match Made in Heaven, for Ellen.
And as 2007 began, I decided this would be the year I would whole-heartedly embrace my single status. No longer will I compare and contrast my 'single-ness' with the paired-off-people in my presence.
Neither status is better or worse than the other. I've decided there are pros and cons to each situation. Although, I may not have a built-in date for the weekends....... My weekends are individual adventures. Two weeks ago, I got up early and rode 40 miles on my bicycle with a cool group of riders. Last weekend, I slept in, went for a long walk and met a friend for dinner.
Although, I don't have an extra pair of hands to help me carry the groceries into the house.........I can buy whatever foods I like. I can light candles, pop in a DVD and drink a glass of wine, while I try out a new recipe I found in a magazine.
Although, there isn't a steady second income to make me feel more secure........I just sold my condo and moved across the country to follow my dream for new opportunities. I feel quite certain that my 'hunch' will be paying off shortly.
Although I don't have someone to hold my hand on a stormy night........I do have a fantastic circle of friends across the country that I can talk to on the phone for as long as I need and who will assure me when I'm feeling uncertain.
What's the old saying....The grass is always greener...... Well, I'm not quite sure about that...but, I do know that the grass on my side is green and thick and feels good under my feet.
C'mon in 2007 - I'm glad to meet you!
