Travel Plans

May, 2007


Although the search for a full time, good paying, professional job continues......I was voted in as President of the Charlotte Chapter of the American Marketing Association. In a mere four months of landing here - a group of my marketing peers voted me to lead their association - yet, a full time, PAYING job eludes me. Curious...and maddening!

I'd like to believe they elected me because they were mesmerized by my energy, creativity, leadership and value - however...it could be that because I'm new to the area - they smelled a 'sucker' and piled the position onto me, cuz no one else wanted the hassle. Hmmmmmm, who knows.

One perk that came with this new appointment was an all-expense paid trip to the National Leadership Summit in Chicago, IL. Chapter leaders from all over the country were gathering in Chicago for round table discussions, meetings and networking. I seized the opportunity of a free trip that would be RIPE with networking opportunities. Maybe I'd meet my future employer!! In my mind, this was a 36 hour job interview - I was jazzed.

The itinerary had me leaving Charlotte on Friday morning at 7:40. Yikes!! With all the crazy-airport rules, regulations, plastic bags of liquids, luggage restrictions, etc. etc. etc. I was sure I needed to be there at least by 6:30. Which meant my alarm would be going off at a time of day - typically reserved for me to stumble into bed - not climb out of it!!!

After a measly three hours of sleep, I drove through the darkness to the Charlotte airport and parked in the Remote Parking Lot. (3 bucks per day - what a deal!) I stood in the glass shelter with a few other early risers as we waited for the Shuttle bus to arrive. Standing in a finger-smudged, stained and sticky shelter before sunrise with a group of strangers is a unique experience. It's a bit different than the 'riding-in-the-elevator' adventure.

In the elevator, you do your best to avert your eyes and pretend to have something very deep and powerful on your mind, so that no one will talk to you. In addition, everyone has the built-in eye- averting opportunity to look up as they watch the floor numbers rise. Folks in an elevator stare so intently at the rising numbers...you'd think a winning lottery ticket was about to be ejected from the control panel. Ever notice that?

So, at the airport in the darkness of pre-dawn, huddled in this pseudo-clear box I looked around at my fellow travelers. A statuesque older woman dressed in a business suit, a non-descript woman with a large suitcase, a tall- balding - nervous - man wearing a crisp striped shirt and jeans and a 20-something scruffy girl wearing wrinkled clothes and flip-flops. (Standard issue footwear for the Millennial generation) The group was silent.

Well, silent until the rumpled 20-something began yawning. And, it wasn't the dainty yawn that she covered with her hand. Oh no - it was the HUGE MOUTH..LOUD-NOISE-TYPE of yawn that cut through the chilled morning air like a sharp razor. By the fifth one of those - I was ready to knock her down and rip her flip flops off her nasty feet.

Before I could devise my game-plan.... an even LOUDER threesome of overly tanned and overly processed ladies came waddling through the parking lot - heading straight towards our sovereign shelter. Thankfully, the shuttle came before their high-pitched squealing got too intense and I would've been forced to 'mess up' their perfectly 'quaffed' hair.

Clearly, as an obvious NON-MORNING person, I shouldn't be allowed to circulate amongst the population until well past 10 am.

The direct flight from Charlotte to Chicago was surprisingly uneventful. Well, except for the business executive sitting in front of me, who slammed his seat back into the recline position with such force.....my knees nearly bled. At six foot tall - with a 36 inch in-seam.... the aggressive reclining traveler..... is my worst enemy!!

The weekend was a whirlwind of marketing professionals, buzz words and hand-shakes. My head was spinning with information and creative ideas as I took the shuttle bus to O'Hare airport for my return trip. My flight was leaving at 4:30 pm and the airport was PACKED with people. Fellow travelers of every shape, size, gender and nationality were accounted for.

As I arrived at my gate, the first person I laid eyes on was an older gentleman, relaxing on the edge of the blue pleather airport chair, calmly tweezing his chin hairs. His silver-plated tweezers catching the afternoon sun. I did a double-take..and once my eyes re-focused, I realized I had seen correctly the first time.

I glanced around to see if anyone else was 'grossed out' by the inappropriate 'bathroom behavior'. However, no one seemed to be phased by his 'out-in-the-open -hygiene- faux-paus'.

Regardless, I made sure to get full-on-eye contact with him, as I contorted my face into an obvious sign of displeasure. Non-pulsed - he plucked away for another half hour and only stopped long enough to board a plane heading towards Topeka. Well, he was the state of Kansas' problem now....... lovely.

No sooner had Mr. Chin-hair boarded his plane when I turned my attention to a well dressed older couple carrying the worlds smallest... yet, hairiest dog. The lady held the pooch with one hand and tucked it neatly under her armpit while her male companion had ... the gold-chain-linked-handled Gucci dog-carrying-bag flung over his shoulder. UGH!

When did bringing a pet on board become legal? And, where does it end? Next, will we share Coach Class with rabbits, lizards and....CATS?

They threw out my 4.75 ml bottle of Cucumber Melon Body Spray - for fear of a liquid terrorist attack - yet - Mr. and Mrs. Dog Breath can bring their mutt on board? What's up with that? Believe me - There is a MUCH greater chance of Fido ruining the flight for everyone on board rather than me bringing down the plane with Cucumber Melon Body Spray. Let's get some perspective, shall we?

I traveled quite a bit recently and have come to some valuable conclusions:

Airport bathrooms are germ-infested disease factories regardless of how clean they appear. The airports in Atlanta and Cincinnati have some of the healthiest food selections. Folks in First Class continue to have an inflated sense of self. And the pilot that captained our flight from Atlanta to Charlotte should be doing stand-up-comedy. He was hilarious.

More importantly - It feels good to be HOME in Charlotte. As I approach the five month anniversary of my move to this City.....I realize more each day, that I made the right decision to relocate here.

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS.