In Pursuit of the 'ONE'

November, 2006


Your stomach has butterflies and you're feeling a bit queasy as you decide what to wear. Men select the perfect 'power tie' while women frantically search for the most flattering outfit.

All of this anticipation is followed by endless discussions of your past. You explain your experiences and banter about your most desirable qualities. You maintain eye contact while you attempt to appear confident yet approachable.

As you say goodbye, you silently hope to yourself that you didn't reveal too much or come across as desperate or anxious.

Is this a FIRST DATE? or a JOB INTERVIEW?

Anyone who has spent time either in the unemployment 'scene' or the single 'scene' could compare notes and find there are similarities between both places. I've spent way too much time in both 'scenes'.... sometimes simultaneously.

Currently, I'm bringing up the rear of the unemployment line in addition to my very secure spot at the end of the relationship line. It's from these positions, that I've discovered how similar the hunt for a job resembles the hunt for a relationship.

Every job interview feels like a blind date. Think about it; in both instances, we are brought together by outside forces who thought we'd be compatible. "Oh, you'd be perfect for the job" sounds eerily similar to, "Oh, you two would be perfect for each other".

In both circumstances, you go in with high expectations. And, alas....you get that sick-in-the-stomach feeling when you realize there is absolutely no match. Your mind races as you question the sanity of the person who 'set you up'.

Job hunting scenario: "I have several years of experience in marketing, public relations and broadcast journalism....how did I end up in an interview for a project manager in a sheet metal factory?"

Blind date scenario: "I'm a 6'0, athletic, Catholic, Republican....how did I end up with a 5'8, atheist, chess player who voted for Ralph Nader?"

The similarities continue.....you spend countless hours waiting for the 'call back'. All the while trying to picture yourself in the new role. After a job interview you fantasize about getting the position. You think about how you'll decorate your office and how you'll spend your new salary.

How is that fantasy different from the ones you have after the 'first date'? You start to envision yourself with that new mate. How do you look together? Where is this going? Etc, etc, etc.

You question whether you should call back first. In a dating situation, the 'call back' is tricky. Especially for women. If you 'call back' too soon, you appear needy and clingy. The Professional 'call back' is just as elusive. If you call the perspective employer back too quick, you risk being pushy and aggressive.

If and when you get the 'call back' you try painstakingly to sound cool, calm and collected as you discuss a second meeting.

The hunt for a job and a relationship is maddening. However, once you make the connection - the up-side is worth it, isn't it? Isn't that why we nearly break our necks chasing the dream?

Happy Hunting!